


Now I’ll be the one holding your hand

by DarkSoulMaster



Category: EXO, EXO (Band)
Genre: Chanyeol and Junmyeon are besties, Hopeful Ending, Junmyeon is the best uncle ever, M/M, Teacher Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, nostalgic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:48:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25977721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkSoulMaster/pseuds/DarkSoulMaster
Summary: Painting #19Junmyeon has to take care of his five-year-old nephew because his brother and sister-in-law went for a well-deserved holiday. His nephew couldn't stop talking about his music teacher and it gets Junmyeon curious. The music teacher turns out to be Yixing, Junmyeon's high school crush.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay
Comments: 7
Kudos: 24
Collections: 1001 Tales: Suho/Lay Fic Fest Round 3





	Now I’ll be the one holding your hand

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! I'm excited to present this little story I've written with love. First I would like to thank the mods of 1001 tales, thanks for helping me through the process. Dear prompter, thank you for writing such a nice and inspiring prompt, I fell in love with it right away, I hope you enjoy this fic. Thanks to my beta reader who was very helpful, without Reign this story would have been a disaster, thanks also to Fati and my twitter moots, who encouraged me to continue even though they had no idea what festival I was writing for. 
> 
> But above all thanks to you for choosing to read this story. 
> 
> I made a little playlist of the songs I was inspired by. 
> 
> 18- One Direction/ In your eyes- Onew/Jet Lag- EXO-SC/Give me a chance- Lay/ Puzzle Piece- NCT DREAM/ Self-portrait -SUHO/ Just a little bit of your heart- Ariana Grande/ Happy- Marina/ EXO- Baby you are/ Nothing without you- AB6IX/ ONE- SHINee 
> 
> I hope you like it and feel the same emotion I felt when I wrote it. Stay healthy. Follow me!
> 
> Twitter: @DarkSoulMaster6

“Uncle Junmyeon!” 

Little ChanHyun uttered as he began to run towards his uncle, who welcomed him with open arms. Carefully placing him in his arms, with a kiss on his little head, Junmyeon smiled brightly at him. 

“You've grown so much! I can't believe you're already five. Seems like only yesterday I held you in my arms for the first time.”

ChanHyun could only laugh at his words, hugging him tightly; it was winter, so Junmyeon held on to the little boy and walked the short stretch between the snow-covered garden and the main entrance of his older brother's house. 

“Kim JunMyeon!”

His brother shouted in a cheerful and joyful tone, yet his face reflected his worries and heavy tiredness that Junmyeon knew his brother was carrying. 

“Hyung!”

Junmyeon smiled and gave him a nod as his hands were busy. 

“Junnie, I'm glad you got here okay but why aren't you wearing something warmer?”

Her sister-in-law appeared behind her brother while hugging him from behind. The woman was sweet as honey, he understood why his brother was completely crazy in love with her. That maternal and endearing warmth was rarely found, however, she also looked a little tired; raising a little 5-year-old while taking care of a company’s marketing was probably too exhausting. 

“I'm fine, it's not that cold, but thanks for worrying. What time is your flight?”

“It leaves in an hour, we should hurry, honey.”

“Oh! -You're right, time does fly” 

His sister-in-law approached, gently pulling ChanHyun from his arms. Then she proceeded to cover the little boy's face with tiny kisses as she said goodbye to him. The scene caused him deep emotion, he dreamed of one day being able to find someone with whom he could spend his life in the same way that his brother and sister-in-law did; loving his son deeply without neglecting their relationship. 

Actually, he met this person long ago. However, life is sometimes cruel and you can't get everything you want, memories were still swimming in his subconscious. The nostalgia and melancholy filled him up once again, he didn't even notice when his brother went to get the suitcases and other luggage. 

His sister-in-law gave little ChanHyun to her husband, and with his help they put the luggage in the car while his brother said goodbye to his son, giving him promises to buy him beautiful toys and souvenirs from the luxurious beaches of Hawaii. ChanHyun's face lit up when he heard this, leaving a small kiss on his father's face. 

She looked at him and gave him a few final instructions. 

“Then Junnie, remember that we will be away for two weeks. Make yourself at home, your room is ready and is next to ChanHyun's, he has to go to class from Tuesday to Friday, but it's not too many hours so you will have to spend a lot of time with him.” 

“I understand. I have the kindergarten address ready and all the foods that Chanhyun can't eat so don't worry, I will take good care of him, after all, he is like my own son.”

“I swear you're an angel.”

“You may not see it but as his Hyung, I can tell you that my little brother may also be a demon.” 

His brother handed him the little boy, and in the process, ruffled his hair; the gesture he had always made since their childhood. Junmyeon laughed at this, knowing that the older boy was joking.,

With all the luggage ready, there was nothing left but to say goodbye to both. 

“Have a good trip. You deserve this vacation, so don't feel guilty!”

“We'll be fine!”

His brother gave him a final pat on the back, the couple got into the colourful yellow car, and Junmyeon and ChanHyun said goodbye to them. 

Lowering him down, Junmyeon offered his hand to his nephew who cheerfully took it. The weather was too cold, so as soon as they entered the house, Uncle Junmyeon prepared a delicious hot chocolate for both of them. 

It was going to be two long weeks, but also weeks full of surprises and good memories. 

____ 

At this point, Junmyeon thinks that he is about to go crazy. When he offered to take care of his adorable nephew, he expected the little boy to behave well, not that he did not, but God! He was like a little bird that talked all day long. 

And there was one topic that the boy seemed to love, the subject of his talks? His music teacher. 

At first, he thought it was cute. That assured him that the little one was having a good time in kindergarten, however, it was already Monday and his whole weekend was based on ChanHyun talking about his perfect music teacher. 

“The music teacher is the best teacher in the world, I swear Uncle Junmyeon!” 

“I'm glad you like him Hyunnie. Tell me what you've learned from him.” 

“I learned the musical scale, and also how to play the flute”

His nephew's face lit up as he told of his musical experience with him. Although a little tired of hearing the same thing, he was happy to see the little one so excited 

“It sounds amazing; do you think I could meet him?”

“Yes! I know you'll like Professor Zhang a lot, even though I only have classes with him on Wednesdays and Thursdays.” 

Zhang? That name reminded him of one person in particular but come on, in South Korea many citizens were Chinese. 

It must not be possible that after so many years he met with him after all 11 years had passed and life was turning around. Leaving that detail in the air, Junmyeon prepared dinner for them and ready the little one because tomorrow was Tuesday and they had to get up early. Like the good uncle he was, he had to be careful with every detail. 

____________ 

The kindergarten was close to his brother's house, so it wasn't that difficult to find it. The place was nice, full of nature in the borders which must look good in spring; now the trees and all the left green grass were covered in snow. The cold January weather greeted them, Junmyeon helped Chanhyun to get out of the car. 

All the cute kids were walking fast, holding hands with their parents, wanting to meet their friends. His nephew wasn't the exception, he held his hand, hurrying him to the main entrance The teacher was checking the cards, these cards indicate the people who can pick the kids out of the school. Junmyeon showed Chanhyun's card, the teacher smiled at him and greeted Chanhyun who said his good-bye. Junmyeon smiled as he walked to his car. Taking care of his nephew was good for him too, he worked at home and having a home office allowed him to do a lot of things, but spending time alone and in the same place was kind of sad and boring, a few days in another environment would be good. He was kind of lost in his thoughts that he forgot about the famous music teacher.

“Maybe I should meet that teacher, I'm kind of curious.” 

Deep inside, Junmyeon knew that the reason why he wanted to meet that music teacher was because of his last name. 

————— 

“Uncle Junmyeon, when are Chanyeol Hyung and Baekhyun Hyung coming?”

“They are just a minute away from here, don't be so impatient and behave, ok?” 

Chanhyun nodded and then sat in front of the window waiting for the couple. Chanyeol was Junmyeon's best friend since high school, and Baekhyun was his fiance who was also one of his closest friends. The couple would say that thanks to Junmyeon they were together because Junmyeon introduced them at a New Year’s Eve party. 

They were visiting them so Chanhyun would be around more people. They at last finished dinner and the couple was already knocking on the door. His nephew was as fast as he sounded as he opened the door, he was being lifted by Chanyeol and being filled with little pecks by Baekhyun. 

“How are you my little pumpkin? Chanyeol sounded so happy to see the boy, also Baekhyun was like a kid trying to catch Chanhyun's attention.”

“Hey, guys!”

“Junmyeon!” 

Baekhyun approached him and both of them hugged for a second. The night went smoothly and when Chanhyun was already asleep, the three of them opened a wine bottle and began to chit chat. 

“So, how do you feel?”

“Pretty good, Chanhyun’s behaviour is as good and kind as always. But there's a topic that he can't leave behind and it's been on my mind.” 

“Go ahead, what is it?”

“Well, he mentioned that he has a music teacher who is amazing.”

Baekhyun was now a little bit interested. 

“Gosh! Chanhyun is going to be a great musician!” 

“Baek! Chanhyun is just five years old! He doesn't even know how to tie his shoelaces correctly.”

“He is going to be just like us, a passionate musician. Just wait and see” 

Junmyeon was laughing over the argument between the couple but then he continues with his explanation 

“Well, the last name of his teacher is ‘Zhang’ 

The atmosphere in the living room was kind of heavy now, Chanyeol was surprised and Baekhyun was a little bit confused but deadly serious about this. 

“Do you think he is.. you know-Yixing?...” 

“I don't know, and I don't even want to create a big deal over this. After all, he left so many years ago, high school is just a memory at this point.” 

“But what if the teacher Zhang  _ is _ Yixing?”

Baekhyun held his wine glass near his mouth, his brows arched in anticipation. Junmyeon considered the situation for a moment, but he was blank. He would not know what to do, what to say. 

The lack of an answer caused Chanyeol to ask another one. 

“Do you have many opportunities to meet with this teacher?” 

“Chanhyun mentioned that he gives classes on Wednesdays, so maybe tomorrow…” 

“Perfect! You need to get your best clothes because if this guy is Yixing, you can't let him slip away again.” 

\--------- 

Junmyeon tried not to lose his focus and prepared a nutritious lunch for his boy, the fact that he was nervous and sweaty was not helping. By the time they arrived at the kindergarten, everything seemed pretty normal, at this point he might look like a crazy person looking around the place. Maybe today was an unlucky day or teacher Zhang being Zhang Yixing was impossible and, once again, he built pointless expectations. He was holding Chanhyun's hand and asking him to behave well even if he knew that his nephew is an angel. Too focused on his task and his surroundings, he didn't notice the handsome man looking at them both. 

“I've always known that you are good with kids.”

“Teacher Zhang!”

Chanhyun escaped from his uncle's hands and threw himself at teacher Zhang. To be more exact, to Zhang Yixing; the kindest, the most handsome, the enigmatic man who used to be his crush in high school. It seems that destiny works in curious ways. 

He hasn't changed at all, his hair was black and silky, fluffy, and kinda messy, giving him this rockstar aura that just makes him look better. His smile was the same, his attractive dimple showing, and his eyes were full of fun and melancholy that not all day you can see. Junmyeon was speechless. It's been eleven years since the last time he saw him. 

“Uncle Junmyeon, look! It's teacher Zhang, isn't he amazing?”

The words won't come out of his mouth, the only thing he was able to do was close and open his mouth in shock. He must probably look stupid, but seeing his impossible crush from high school was not something you can live all days. 

“Alright, Chanhyun, you should go to your classes. I'll follow you in a second, Uncle Junmyeon and I have to discuss for a little bit.”

“Do you know Uncle Junmyeon?”

Chanhyun was sincerely confused, but at the same time, a bubbly feeling invaded him. 

“Yeah, it's a long story. I'll tell you later, promise!”

Chanhyun ran towards his uncle and hugged his leg After this little gesture, he walked inside the school. It was already late because no parents or kids were around. Yixing approached him, a little smile still on his face, Junmyeon panicked for a hot second. Even if he felt incapable to talk, he should try. No matter how long it has been, in front of Yixing, he always turned into a mess of giggles and meaningless silence. 

“Yixing, it's been... a while.”

“Maybe 11 years? I don't recall at all.”

“How many times have you been in Seoul?” 

“Around a year. I tried to contact you, but you know... things happened.”

The look in the eyes of Yixing hides something deep and secretive, making him feel dizzy and kind of intoxicated. 

“Don't worry, we're now adults, so a lot of things have changed. I'm kind of surprised to see you here, I'm even more surprised by the fact that you know my nephew.” 

“Chanhyun always talks about his amazing uncle, he always seemed like a sweet and hard-working man, I must be a fool because it was you.”

Junmyeon felt his cheeks on fire, he wanted to blame the cold wind that was blowing in this cold winter, but the last thing he was feeling was the cold. The warm feeling inside his chest was back, and he missed it a lot. 

“You're good at saying sweet things to others like in the old times, maybe you hadn't changed at all.” 

“You should try and see.” 

Their eyes lingered for a second that felt like an eternity, the mix of emotions was still there, the same feeling he felt on that sunny day of July, between old instruments and the ancient piano of the music room. 

Back then, he thought that forgetting about someone was pretty easy, **_"Time, that's all I need"_ ** , but no matter how hard he had tried, Yixing was always there, and now that he was standing in front of him, he didn't know what to do with all these feelings. 

“Junmyeon?”

Slipping away from his rêverie, Junmyeon looked at the amused expression on the face of the Chinese man; he was so deep in thought that he forgot that this Yixing was the real one and not one of his weak dreams. 

“Sorry... Did you say something?”

“Actually, yes. I have to go, even if I don't want to. I have classes right now, but please give me your number, we need to talk about a lot of things…”

He didn't hesitate at all, they exchanged numbers and Yixing said his goodbye. Junmyeon was still in front of the closed-door when his phone rang, and to his surprise, he was late for work. How long has he been there? 

__ 

uck was on his side because his boss didn't mention anything about his tardiness. Kim Junmyeon was his best employee, after all, he is a famous commercial creator. Marketing and writing a script for a new product was his passion, no one could beat him. 

But today, he was a total mess, he spilt his coffee on his sweater, he forgot about the photocopies for the new marketing campaign. Why? Well because he was still thinking about Zhang Yixing, the young and the actual Zhang Yixing. 

So when he got the first text, his turtle neck began to feel uncomfortable and unnecessary even if the weather outside was icy. 

_ "Hey Junmyeon, it's me Yixing, do you want to go on a walk later?  _ _ Of course, _ _ Chanhyun can accompany us. _ " 

His heart fell to the floor at these words, this can’t be possible. He was doing so well without him, but the feelings were stronger now, he wasn't insane so he just replied with:

_ "I would like it, see you too!"  _

It felt like being in high school again when Yixing was the student council president and Junmyeon was just another member. You could even say that the excitement was even stronger now; it was funny to think that time, instead of helping him to forget, made Junmyeon feel all that waterfall of feelings as fresh as if the summer when he was 18 had never ended.

  
  


_____

Junmyeon asked for permission to get out of work early for two weeks, his boss adored him, so he permitted him without flinching a bit. 

Here he was, standing at the main entrance of ChanHyun's school, waiting for the door to be opened. The feelings in his stomach were making him anxious, but he can't fight it. At some point, Yixing and he decided to take a walk through the park, this way they would be able to talk and Chanhyun can have fun playing with the games in the park. 

Why was he nervous? He is a grown man with romantic experience, also this was not a date, this was just two old acquaintances which are trying to keep up with each other. 

The cold air made his cheeks red like an apple, not even his scarf was able to mitigate the cruel atmosphere. He had arrived a little earlier, his naturally orderly and kindly personality had done this sort of thing to him. But he regretted it a little now; on his right hand rested a luxurious watch, a gift from his parents; time seemed eternal, each hand of the watch seemed to move so slowly that it was killing him. 

But he told himself that it was worth waiting a few more minutes. If he could wait eleven years, then what was it to wait ten minutes? 

Parents began to approach the door, eager to hold their small children in their arms. The door finally gave way and small children were lined up, each teacher waiting for the thousands of student ID cards, Junmyeon’s eyes scanned the place with precision and soon the black, straight hair of his nephew was caught in his field of vision

“Chanhyun!”

“Uncle!”

The little kid hurried up his steps and in a blink he was standing in front of him, wanting the attention of the older. Junmyeon patted his head and smiled.

“How was your day?”

“Good! I learned a lot of things, and Teacher Zhang told me that we can go to the park together.” 

His nephew looked so joyful and excited, even more than Junmyeon, who was aching with anticipation, every cell in his body wanting to meet the musician. 

“Junmyeon!”

The always soft voice of Yixing filled the air, when Junmyeon turned around he saw the younger men approaching them with a peaceful smile on his lips. 

“Hey…”

Damn, he was breathless, Yixing looked so good with his red cheeks, he was so mesmerized by the men that he didn't even notice the moment Chanhyun started to walk, Junmyeon hurried and held the little hand on his own.

“Ready to go?”

Junmyeon nodded and the three of them started to walk towards the park which was not far away from the school, even if the day is dead cold, everything seems warmer now that Yixing is on sight. 

“You've been so quiet. Where is the Kim Junmyeon that used to talk a lot and tell dad jokes?”

It was true, Junmyeon is a joyful man who is always joking and talking with everyone, he didn't know either why he was being like this. So he just let a shy laugh fill the air. 

“It's just that it’s still hard to believe that you're here.”

They locked their eyes for what seemed like a long second, but they broke the contact because Chanhyun was sincerely excited. 

The park was packed, a lot of kids from the school were in the games, so this was the perfect moment to talk without Chanhyun asking about every detail of their "relationship".

“Uncle, Teacher Zhang, can I go to the games?”

“Of course! Just be careful and we'll be here if you need something, remember the Golden rule.”

“Don't talk with strangers and be kind to your friends, I remember uncle!”

Chanhyun headed to the games and Junmyeon let a surprised gasp.

“Oh my God, he's talking like a teenager, and he's only five”

Yixing laughed at this and he pointed to a bench near them. Both took a seat, the vision was good and they could keep an eye on the little kid.

They fell into a comfortable silence but inside, Junmyeon felt the urge to ask a lot of questions. Yixing must have sensed his anxiety because the next thing he was saying was:

“I know that you have a lot of questions, even if I can't answer all of them, please feel comfortable and ask right away.”

Junmyeon's cheeks were cherry red and suddenly the cold disappeared, he regretted being this transparent with his emotions, he was an easy person to read. And Yixing was excellent at analyzing people. 

He tried to control himself and with doubt, he asked the first thing he could think about. 

“Why did you decide to become a teacher?.” 

Yixing seemed to think about the answer for a moment and then he looked straight into his eyes. 

“Because I wasn't happy in China, I felt like something was missing, and you know I love kids, I like to teach.”

And he was being dead serious, his face was staring at the grey sky above their heads, lost in his world like those days when Junmyeon recalled seeing him looking outside the classroom window. So, he didn't say anything. He waited for him to continue. 

“Now, I can see that I was just confused and kind of lost when it comes to thinking about my future.”

“So, are you happy now?.” 

“Now I'm happier than before.” 

“That's good, I'm glad you're happy now.”

“And you? Are you happy?”

Indeed, he was happy, he had everything he once dreamed of. But like all the humans in the world, you can't live in a constant state of bliss. 

“I'm happy.”

“And perhaps, are you happy with someone by your side?.”

Yixing smiled in a way that made Junmyeon legs become jelly, he wanted to drown in his dimple, or at least pinch it. But now he was more focused on his answer. It's been a while since he had been in a romantic relationship. 

Yes, he has dated a lot before, even if he wanted to wait for Yixing, that was impossible. Junmyeon wasn't even sure if the Chinese man was coming back or not, to be more exact, he was even sure if this love was mutual.

“I'm happy by myself, I take care of me and my family and… I'm good”

“That's perfect then because I'm happy with myself too. But, I would be happier if I had someone by my side.”

His eyes were fixed on Junmyeon's head who was checking on his nephew, kinda embarrassed, kinda excited. Were they flirting? Or the only thought of having his high school crush so near was making him going crazy?.

“You're cute when you're flustered.”

He was shameless, he was.

“Chanhyun, come here!”

He avoided making eye contact with the other and just focused on holding his nephew in his arms. 

“Let me accompany you to your car.”

He nodded and they took the road back to the school. He was an idiot, he ruined this "No- date", but don't blame him, he was too nervous. 

They talked about everything and nothing, about the school, job, Chanhyun, music, etc. And in a handful of minutes, they were in front of Junmyeon's car. 

“I had fun today, thanks.”

“Please don't say thank you, it was only a short walk and we didn't talk that much, we should go somewhere nice soon.”

“Ah... Ummah... Sure!.” 

He looks like a freaking tomato, he's sure that even Chanhyun noticed his state. Yixing was asking him out, not even in the 18 years old Junmyeon dreams, this would be happening. 

Yixing pinched Chanhyun's cheek and told him to practice with the flute, he even helped Chanhyun get into the back seat. 

“I'll text you later Junmyeon, I still have a lot to tell you.”

“I'll be waiting.”

He jumped in the car and took a big breath. 

“Uncle…”

“Yes?.” 

“Do you like Teacher Zhang?”

Junmyeon found himself coughing like an old man, he can't believe this, even a little kid can tell what he was feeling. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Your cheeks were red, and my Teacher said that if someone gets red when they are around someone that's because they like that person.” 

“I-it's because it’s cold!” 

“Are you sure?.”

He could see the little pout on his nephew's face, and he just nodded. He felt so embarrassed. The rest of the way coming home was in silence, for his sake.

\------------

“What? Like... What?”

“Chanyeol, stop! You're screaming!”

Chanyeol was agitated even if Junmyeon could only hear his voice. The sound of his voice echoed in the room, Junmyeon was making dinner while talking with his friend.

Chanyeol knew how much Junmyeon used to like Yixing (well, likes, he can't fool anyone)

“You need to go on a date with him no matter what.”

“What about Chanhyun? I'm here to take care of my dear nephew, not flirting and dating his music teacher.”

“But you have us! You know that Baek and I love Chanhyun as much as you love him. So we can take care of him for one night. You need to talk with him.”

“I don't know, maybe it's just an unreasonable fear, but... Ugh, forget it. “

“What? Junmyeon... just tell me, what is it?” 

Junmyeon stopped chopping the onion in front of him, controlling his breath.

“What if he decides to go away again? What if he doesn't feel this way too?“

“And what if he feels the same way as you? Then what? Are you going to let him go again? With the words of love on the tip of your tongue? You did it once, and it only brought you endless nights regretting the fact that you lost the chance to confess.”

Chanyeol was right, this time he cannot be the lost young boy who was afraid to be rejected, now he needed to face the situation. This could be his last chance.

_______

Although Junmyeon would have been happy to go out with Yixing every day, he knew that Chanhyun was his responsibility, so for the rest of the week, their only communication with each other was through messages.

They talked about anything, sometimes as trivial topics as the weather, and perhaps during the early hours, the topics became a little deeper, but the latent doubt about the real reason for Yixing's return was still present in every word, hiding under words without meaning. 

He knew well that his failed confession of the past had left him with deep regret, charged with the constant doubt of "what if? "

The past was very distant now, the years had brought him maturity and the only thing that kept the subject from coming up was his fear of being rejected and pushed away.

So the next Wednesday when he met Yixing, he plucked up some courage and did something he had wanted to do for a long time.

\--------

The next Wednesday when Junmyeon went to pick up ChanHyun from school, Yixing was already waiting for him along with his nephew. 

From the very first day they met again, they had created a routine where every time Junmyeon went to school for Chanhyun, the three of them would take a walk in the park. 

The cold weather was becoming more mitigated each day, and now, despite the cold air around them, it was a bit more bearable.   
  


While ChanHyun was playing with his playmates, both of them were sitting on the usual bench, Junmyeon hid his face in his scarf and took a deep breath, gathering his courage as he looked at the man sitting next to him

. 

“Do you want to have dinner this Friday?”

It came out a bit hastily and with a tone full of nervousness. Yixing's face looked a bit surprised at first, his peaceful eyes opened wide and his cheeks looked a bit more flushed now.

The feeling in his stomach intensified as their eyes met, Yixing soon returned to his peaceful state and a big smile spread across his face. 

“I would love to.”

_______

“What should I wear?”

“You need to relax Junmyeon-ah.”

Chanyeol was lying on the bed in the guest room, Baekhyun was downstairs taking care of ChanHyun. 

Luckily, his friends had agreed to look after his nephew while he went to have dinner with Yixing.

It was nothing formal, nothing fancy, but when he saw Yixing again and considering his musical career and the people with whom he had come into contact, Junmyeon was almost certain that the younger man would have made a big change in his tastes. However, when Yixing suggested dining at the old cafeteria where all the students of his high school used to gather, he was pleasantly surprised. 

“It's a dinner in a cafeteria, you don't have to be nervous.” 

“It's not just dinner, it's a dinner with Yixing.”

He knew he sounded immature, but this situation seemed more like a dream than a reality. 

“You've never been able to get over him.” 

Chanyeol had a point. Despite his list of romances, it was very true what was said, first love is never forgotten.

“Just make sure you confess again because it's pretty obvious that your feelings are still intact.”

Junmyeon stopped looking in his suitcase, there was nothing in it that was decent to wear for dinner, so maybe he should quickly go to his apartment and get an outfit. He laid down on the bed and let a long sigh leave his mouth.

“Don't you think it's too soon? He came back after a long time and I just saw him again a week ago. In 11 years it could have changed everything.”

“So you're thinking of keeping your feelings to yourself again?”

“I'll think about it. But now I must go and get some decent clothes.”

He got out of bed and took the keys, Baekhyun was preparing dinner along with his little nephew, who had all his face covered in food. They both looked adorable and Junmyeon was relieved because he knew that his friends would take good care of ChanHyun.

After taking his time checking his closet and making sure he wasn't late, he decided to wear a brown turtleneck, jeans, and a fake leather jacket. He was hoping not to go too dressed up for a simple dinner in an old-fashioned coffee shop. He combed his hair and once again headed to his brother's house. Yixing had promised to pick him up, so it was just a matter of waiting for him.

When he returned, he found the happy couple lying on the couch and in the middle of them was Chanhyun, watching an animated film. 

A whistle caught his attention, Chanyeol was holding back his mocking laughter, but his expression was a tell-tale. Baekhyun was also smiling, but the most surprised was his little nephew. 

“Uncle Junmyeon, are you going out with teacher Zhang?”

Junmyeon's cheeks turned ferociously red and he simply nodded, giving his nephew a rueful smile. 

“You need to behave well while I'm gone, don't give your hyungs too much trouble.”

Chanhyun nodded and sent him a flying kiss, Junmyeon smiled and finally directed a look that seemed to say, **_"if anything happens to him, I’ll kill you,"_ ** to Chanyeol, who just rolled his eyes and nodded. Baekhyun said goodbye to him and Junmyeon did not have to wait long because his phone rang with a notification, it was a message from Yixing saying that he was waiting for him outside the house. Almost in a rage, Junmyeon made his way to the door, and he was able to hear his heart beating inside his rib cage. 

The night was cold and dark, and the only thing that lit up the road were the headlights of the musician's car. 

Resting on the hood of the car, Yixing looked at him with his half-smile and his eyes ran up and down in a way that made him feel excited and shy at the same time. He also didn't miss the opportunity to notice the child's attire, he was wearing dark denim jeans with holes at the knees, a white long-sleeved shirt and a denim jacket. His flushed cheeks indicated that the cold was taking its toll on him. So he didn't wait any longer and met him. 

“You look good Junmyeon.” 

It was the first thing Yixing mentioned, his dimple deepened even further, and with the action, Junmyeon could not help but feel dizzy. 

“You look good, too…”

He didn't know what else to say, as he could say something silly at any moment, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Yixing went to the door of the passenger seat of his black Audi and opened it, one of his hands gestured for Junmyeon to get in, and he honestly doesn't know when all this became his dream high school date.

The car gave him the warmth he needed, once Yixing got in the car they headed off, despite living in such a conglomerate city as Seoul, the cafeteria is relatively close, it was around 7:30 when they arrived.

“I can't believe it! This place is still the same.”

Yixing was incredibly excited at the mere sight of the place, so he parked his car in the parking lot and helped Junmyeon out of the car.

He was right, the place had not changed at all, and suddenly nostalgia replaced the icy wind that was blowing through this long winter night. 

This was the present, but it felt like being at the end of her senior year of high school when he had dreams and aspirations, some of which had already been fulfilled and others which remained pending. 

“It's kind of nostalgic, don't you think?”

“It's like going back to the old days.”

With slow steps and their bodies almost touching, they both entered the cafeteria. The delicious smell of milkshakes and coffee welcomed them, without wanting to, both of them let out a small smile. 

They took a seat at a table near the window, now you could consider this place within the category of "vintage." Inside this concrete jungle, it was a breath of fresh air. 

Now sitting facing each other, nerves settled in their stomachs once more.

“I never thought you'd invite me to dinner, you used to be so reserved back then.”

“Well, you know, I had a bust of confidence.” 

“You're pretty much the same as before, nice and radiant, the good guy everybody likes.” 

At these words Junmyeon laughed a little, he was right, he hadn't changed that much. 

“I haven't changed that much. What about you? Have you changed?”

He wanted his question to have that informal, casual tone, preventing his ardent anticipation from creeping into it; an affirmation that he hadn't changed, that everything was still the same as it was 11 years ago. Perhaps then things would be even clearer. 

However, when he met the intense eyes that looked at him, he realized that his eyes betrayed him, now it was like a sheet of music exclusively for the musician to read. 

“Of course I've changed. We all do whether we notice it or not.”

Reality weighed a little more heavily on him than he thought, even if the answer was obvious, hearing him say it only caused him more doubts, as to whether his feelings were the same or whether they were now just blurred stains of unfulfilled wishes and dreams. 

The tension in the atmosphere was cut off with the arrival of their order, as they tried to liven up the dinner, both talking about old anecdotes and diffuse memories about high school. From boring student council meetings to talk about their old friends and what they were like today. 

Both of them broke into laughter and happiness that as the night progressed turned into whispers and finally into a silence full of complicity. 

Everything could end here, like one more dinner and a talk with an old friend. However, for the first time since he had seen him again, Yixing felt melancholy as he looked at him. The following words could mark destiny in unknown ways. 

“Remember the day I told you I was going to China?.”

“I remember.”

_ Of all the memories in his mind, this was probably the most vivid of all, it was the best time of spring, the school council meetings were over and an exhausted Junmyeon was heading home while massaging his neck in the hope of relieving stress, he headed for the music hall area, actually that was the longest road of all, however, he knew that after the student council, the president, Yixing would be there to play the piano. _

_ Although Junmyeon did not know the melody, he could appreciate the feeling with which the young man played. Just listening to him was enough, and although he thought that the young Chinese man was ignorant of his presence, Yixing had always had that sixth sense where he could detect things easily. _

_ “I know you're there, Junmyeon.” _

_ His heart leapt into his chest, the 18-year-old Junmyeon pushed the door of the room, knowing that what he was seeing was only the intensity of his emotions, but Yixing seemed ethereal in front of the piano, the sunset played with the contrasts on his face and he could not help but feel pulled in. _

_ “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your practice.”  _

_ “It's okay, I like it when you come to hear me play.” _

_ So he knew? God, this was by far the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to him. You couldn't say that the two of them were close, the interactions in the student council and some shared classes were the only things that brought them together. So the situation seemed even more awkward, at least for Junmyeon who felt that his feelings were exposed.  _

_ Not knowing what else to say, he went to sit next to the young man.  _

_ Yixing played the melody once more, the sound echoing through the vast hall. Junmyeon ventured his hands to playfully caress the keys, his heart seeming to want to come out of his rib cage. Even if it was a different tune from what he was playing, Yixing did not comment and coupled himself to the clumsy tune that the young man next to him was trying to play.  _

_ Soon, without noticing it, the two played "minuet," but Junmyeon's poor skills caused him to ruin the harmony once again, and Yixing's laughter echoed in his ears and caused the same effect on him. Their fingers brushed against each other for a tiny fraction of a second, but the electricity did not leave the cells of his body. And he felt himself overflow. Everything he felt for the person in front of him wanted to explode, to be released once and for all.  _

_ “I'm going back to China” _

_ And so it was that his eyes full of surprise extinguished the so avid flame that forced him to confess. His heart hurt like never before. But the look on Yixing's face told him that he meant it. And that his chance was gone as soon as it came.  _

_ “Why so suddenly?” _

_ “I was offered a scholarship to a renowned conservatory, I will finally make it, I will be the great musician I have dreamed of turning into.” _

_ And the spark of emotion and the desire to eat the world, filled him with bitter happiness because at the end of the day, the person he loved was fulfilling his dream and there was nobody to stop him. _

In front of him and eleven years later that same person was looking at him with the same flame but now it was extinct. The pain-filled his chest again and he dared to ask what had been going around in his head.

“Why did you come back, Yixing?”

And he seemed so relieved that someone asked him, the harsh pain in his eyes seemed to cease when Junmyeon asked him. So Yixing spoke.

“I came back because I realized that even though I achieved everything I always dreamed of. I was lonely, and loneliness is the worst feeling, so it came to a point where I began to wonder what it was that I needed to be happy again.”

“So Seoul is what you needed?”

“No, what I needed was everything I had left, now that I'm back, I found what I like; to teach, to transmit, instead, in China, I just felt lonely and full of expectations that I was not willing to fulfil, music became more an obligation than something I loved to do..”

He had kept it for a long time and now, saying it, he felt that a great weight was being lifted from his shoulders. His long fingers searched for Junmyeon's fingers across the table, the older one tensed up and his eyes filled with doubt and confusion. 

“But not only did I come back for that, but I’m also here, now, to tell you, that I missed you. There wasn't a day when I didn't miss you. You may think I'm crazy, but I'm being honest.”

It was almost unreal to hear those words, Yixing's fingers felt like living fire burning inside him, but what does this mean? He didn't have time to think about it, he didn't want to think about it this time, he was tired of everything he loved slipping through his fingers because of his lack of trust in others, and more importantly in himself. This time he would use his heart more.

“I missed you too, and this time I'll tell you what I couldn't tell you 11 years ago, I loved you, and I may still do, but I'm afraid. Scared that you'll think you made a bad decision and decide to leave again.”

Yixing smiled at him, and it was as if all his doubts that clouded his judgment vanished one by one.

“Then let me show you that I love you too, and always have. This may not be what we always dreamed of but now I want to be that person who holds your hand from now on.”

So Junmyeon smiled as well, letting his fingers interlock with the other man's. This time he would be brave.

\-----

  
  


After his heart-to-heart talk, Yixing took him home and placed a small kiss on his lips, a kiss with a taste of hope and strawberry milkshake. 

  
  


Chanyeol did not miss the scene, and as soon as Junmyeon entered the house, he interrogated him to death. Once he got his answers, he even woke up Baekhyun, and the two of them were even more effusive than Junmyeon himself, congratulating him and wishing him well, and Junmyeon felt that he was proud of him as well for the direction his life was taking.

\--------

Sunday arrived quickly, Junmyeon and Chanhyun were tired and watching TV. The day before, Yixing had taken them to the amusement park, it was a disaster, but Junmyeon would not change for anything the feeling of Yixing's hand tangled in his. In his soul, he was engraving the scene of the professor being the best with his nephew, how gentle and kind he always was. So you could say that being tired now was worth it.

Minutes later, his brother and sister-in-law arrived, Chanhyun ran to greet them, Junmyeon approached the entrance to help with the luggage, his brother hugged him tightly, and his sister-in-law patted him on the cheek as if he were a small child. The rest of the afternoon was spent amidst a barrage of questions about the trip and the two weeks that uncle and nephew had spent together. 

Once Junmyeon told them what had happened, her sister-in-law, excited and cheerful as always, suggested a small meeting between the three couples; them, Chanyeol and Baekhyun, and of course Junmyeon and Yixing. 

Junmyeon left the house shortly thereafter with the feeling that from that day on, everything would be better in many aspects of their lives. 

—————

The sound of the champagne glasses clashing against each other filled the living room, while background music played in the background, dinner was served and everyone gathered around the table, talks were interspersed with laughter. It might have been the alcohol or the feeling itself, but being surrounded by the people he loved so much, Junmyeon began to think about how much his life had changed in two weeks. How fate works in such an extraordinary way. Yixing's hand intertwined with his, as they performed the evening's toast, so longed-for love was finally here. 

The time may not have been the right one 11 years ago, but now, Junmyeon could only be certain of one thing, that he was not willing to let go of Yixing's hand. Never again.

**_Now I'll be the one holding your hand._ **


End file.
